Yesterday we went to the Indians game. I normally wouldn't have gone because the Cavaliers were playing the Wizards in game 2 of the playoffs and I was NOT going to miss that game on TV, but the seats she wrangled from work were in the luxury box, and I was assured that other people in the group attending the game would want the Cavs game on in the box too. Basically, I went to a live baseball game to watch a basketball game on TV. You are thinking, "that's the dumbest thing ever", but we had babysitting so I couldn't pass it up. Anyway, both my teams lost ugly, leaving me in a spot of half-drunk depression as we left the stadium.

But, on our way back to the car that we had parked in a garage several blocks away, we decided to take a detour up the street where they are shooting Spiderman 3. There wasn't any filming going on at the time, but it was pretty cool just the same. They have this three block section of Euclid Avenue cordoned off, and they've refaced most of the buildings with New York looking signage and details. They built a fake subway entrance into one of the sidewalks which looked completely real- it wasn't until we got right up to it that I could see that it didn't actually lead anywhere. The street itself was resurfaced with new lines painted on, which I can attest from driving on that normally potholed busted up stretch of shitty road just last week that this was all new just for the production. The best part was that a night crew was hard at work ripping a huge crater right in the middle of Euclid Avenue, obviously for the next day's shooting. Wrecked cars with New York license plates were lining the area, ready to be tossed around by interesting looking catapult doohickeys.

Not a completely wasted evening after all!

Tags: Sports Movies What? The Home Front

I watch Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex, which I tell you with absolutely no pride whatsoever. I used to watch anime like Robotech and Star Blazers when I was a kid, but stopped when it got all weird when Akira came out and everyone thought that was so great. Kids- Akira sucks ass. It is both boring and annoying, but worse- it thinks it's better than you. Oh yes, Akira thinks all your base belongs to us, but I say NO- you can't have all my base, Akira! AKIIIRRRAAAA! You can have some of my base only because I really love the motorcycle chase scene at the beginning with the streaky slow shutter taillight effect, but that is IT. Oh, and you can have Cowboy Bebop too. Every goddam episode ends with the main characters either dying or staring off into space, pondering something heavy like lost loves or the fate of man or some shit. It's like a cartoon snuff film directed by Ingmar Bergman. Awful.

Anyway, I started watching Ghost in the Shell because of cartoon T and A, which again I'm not proud of. I'm only telling you because none of you are real, you only exist in my computer. Those of you who have seen it know that the main character, the Major, is this completely unnecessarily crazy hot piece of ass that fanboys and fangirls all across the world jerk it to with wild abandon. Fans, I can't blame you- the Japanese have truly perfected booby animation technology. They wrap some stupid pseudo-intellectual sci-fi storyline around the Major's boobs, but c'mon- nobody's paying attention to that crap. We're all waiting to see what she's wearing this episode, because the producers of the show made the brilliant move this season to put her in a different S&M flavored skin tight combat suit each week. Last season she wore the same outfit all the time. Unless, of course, she was cavorting naked with her multiple supermodel-hot lesbian sex partners. That deserved italics AND an underline! It was Cartoon Network, so they didn't show much, but it was enough to get the message across. That message- "Why whack off alone like usual when you can whack off with us? We're Adult Swim!"

The reason for this post, besides showing how sad and desperate I am, is that I was just wondering if anyone else who watches this trash thought it was creepy when, a couple eps ago, the Major offered to have sex with that teenage boy. She even went so far as to walk around in front of him wearing only a teeny tiny towel and teeny tiny panties- and then climbed into the same bed he was already in to sleep WITHOUT THE TOWEL, completely short circuiting the brains of nerds across the planet.

In the version we saw, the boy turns her down. And we're all saying, "What The Hell?" Don't pretend you didn't think that, perv- I know why you watch this show, remember? But that was probably the softcore version they prepared for American audiences. I bet in the Japanese version, they totally get it on. And he's got a penis made of huge raping tentacles and her vagina sports rows of poisonous, gnashing teeth.

That's the Japanese for you. Pervs.

Tags: TV

I had two fill out TWO FUCKING FORMS to buy Sudafed yesterday. Look here, dickheads- I have sinus issues. The only thing that helps is Sudafed. I'm not going to go home and make a big tub of crystal meth with my two tiny 24 tablet boxes, okay? So you can take these forms and stick them right up your- WAIT. What are you telling me here? That maybe I should skip the middle man and just buy some crystal meth? Is that stuff good for sinus headaches? Because I could run out and buy like four pounds of that without having to fill out any forms whatsoever RIGHT NOW.

Enough haughty sarcasm. I [heart] Sudafed Sinus Headache! I'm telling you people- the BEST buzz ever. I bust balls, but I would gladly fill out three, maybe FOUR forms for my Precious. Every winter I forget just how sweet The Precioussss is, because all the filthy weeds and trees and grassessss are DEAD my Preciouss. But then in the Spring they come back, don't they? WE HATESESS the GREEENNSS my PRECIOUSSS!!!

Ahh crap. Gollum jokes are just not funny anymore. Like they were before, right? Well, okay- for nerds- HILARIOUS. I'll give you that!










My Precious.


HAHAHAHA Funny again! Oh, that Tolkien.

Tags: What? Good Times

That's right, the big THREE-FOUR today (yesterday now!). Woooo>hack-hack WHEEZE!

Nothing really good happened today (yesterday*). Oh! Except that I got audited by the IRS and it seems I owe them a little over a thousand bucks from 2004! Hooray! It appears that my tax guy (stares at Beth who's dad is my tax guy) maybe forgot to include one of my 1099's on my return. OOPS! I have to get with him & straighten stuff out, but that certainly was good B-day news! I'm not gonna cry about it or anything, if it is indeed a mistake I'll just pony up the cash, it's not like I was not going to pay my taxes or anything edgy and anarchic like that. The government seems to realize it was just a mix-up, there isn't any penalty or anything. No harm no foul, except, y'know, the grand I have to drop to finance the military industrial complex. Oh well, Becky made cupcakes! Yellow ones with chocolate frosting. Mm-MMM.

Quick obligatory homer sporting reference- CAVS & TRIBE RULE... everyone else can suck it.

Real life conversation between me & my brother at work, where we have a lot of time to talk about the most god-damned retarded things:

Z: "Who do you think is hotter, LeBron James or Grady Sizemore?"

M: "Hmm. Well, if it's just for looking at, I say Grady. He's like a perfect angel I want to set on a shelf and stare at for a thousand years. BUT- if it's sex we're talking about- LeBron, hands down. Ooh! He'd just rip you up.

And then I made the same Mm-MMM sound that I had just made when we were talking about IRS audits and cupcakes a little while ago.




* Babies won't even let me finish an O.P. entry on my birthday.

Tags: Good Times Sports What?