WiFi- there might just be a future for this technology.

I'll post some pics soon- the kids are total road trip troopers, we're amazed!

Plus- I'm not wearing any underwear. That's right.

Tags: What? Travel

We go on vacation this coming Saturday! Whoop! That means that there will be a work related disaster that will happen about 3:30 on Thursday. Awesome! Can't wait!

Our Destination: Same place as always- the starkly beautiful and increasingly pricey Outer Banks of North Carolina. Thing about the OBX though- sure, rentals cost kind of a lot, but there's not much else to do there except hang around. So it's not like you're going to spend a fortune after you get there, by the time you get to your rental house or whatever you've already spent 90% of the money you're going to on your vacation. It's a terrific place. Maybe I'll get all poetic about it in a future entry, but I still have a week of The Suck to go first, so I don't want to get all wrapped up in it just yet.

I will tell you this though- we are yuppie scum. Like, more so than before. We did something I swore I wouldn't do and bought a friggin' DVD player for my car. Two screens, the works. I've even got the sound running through my car stereo, so it's BOOMY! and DYNAMIC! in there like a movie theater. All so my kids can watch Blue's Clues and Laurie Berkner videos on our road trip. God DAMN I'm gonna have spoiled kids. Growing up I was lucky to have a spot in the car with a seat belt when we went places. No lie- I rode in the back of my folk's old Ford Pinto (the station wagon, not the hatch back) with the dog to New York one time because she used to get anxious in the car and somebody needed to rub her ears so she wouldn't bark until she threw up. Good times! Actually- those really were good times. I'm not just saying "Good times!" when the times were clearly not good for hilarious comedy like usual. Anyway, I'm just a set of those stupid giant spinning rims away from rolling like those hip-hop rapper superstar type people you folks are so fond of, like Hammer-Time or the guy who did "Who Let The Dogs Out? WHO?--WHO WHO WHO?" I don't know why you like that song so much, it's totally gay. Everybody hates it when you put that CD in at all our parties.

There's links for some people over there on the right. I totally read all these blogs all the time, like constantly. That's why it takes me so long to post things here, because I'm so busy reading all these other blogs. Naked*.

Oh- and HA! I have some funny new family style drama to post about later. And it will be later, 'cause I got to GO.

Tags: Good Times Travel Kids T.V.

I'm guessing that everyone who is a fan of the Venture Brothers used this title for a blog entry this week. All the true fans anyway, the lame poser fans probably had something original and witty in their titles. Trying to make me look bad. Worse, I mean.

Something terrible has been happening to me the past few months, a sign of aging that I'm not sure I'm ready to face. I've been getting acute indigestion almost every time I drink beer. Third of the way through a Bud or whatever and heartburn detonates, I end up chewing Tums for the rest of the night. I think this is "The Change" that I hear people talking about. I'm much too young and pretty for this to happen now! I was planning on many fertile drunk years before The Change left me barren and sober! THIS IS NOT FAIR. I refuse to admit my good years are behind me. This isn't the end of the road- it's just a new beginning! Maybe I'll take up whiskey.

There is hope- today I've eaten three doughnuts and now I'm going to get a cheeseburger. Feeling like a million bucks. I think everything's going to be okay.

We still have tiny humans here!

Tags: T.V. Venture Brothers What? Pictures Kids

Funeral was nice. Big. Large protestant church, max capacity. HOT. Becky & I got there just before start time and somehow ended up sitting right by a big fan, which was fantastic. The family is holding up really well, clearly this has been very overwhelming and busy this week, but they're tight and it shows. The last I'll say about this here for now (because I'm tired of being mad and offended), all the older sibs got to walk out of the sanctuary with their spouses or significant others. Josh walked out alone. Lizzie was partying with her new Canadian pals at that moment.

The fallout hasn't come yet, Lizzie (who has lost "Liz" status with me- a few years ago she wanted to be called Liz instead of Lizzie because she thought it sounded more mature) will be home tomorrow. She would have been here today except that she informs her mom that she has stuff planned for them to do on the way back from Quebec! Yay! Never mind that I sort of count on my mother-in-law's babysitting services on Mondays. I don't mind staying home with my kids, but when it's because Lizzie has shopping she wants to do (and have someone else pay for, no doubt), I'm bent. And here's the awesome kicker- I'm absolutely positive that Lizzie plans on freeloading in my vacation house in North Carolina in a couple weeks. Months ago we told her and Josh that it would be cool for them to crash in one of our extra rooms there, but that was long before all this bullshit rolled out the cow. I've already voiced my displeasure at the notion of her leeching on my vacation that I've been killing myself to pay for, but I'm getting the vibe that I'll have to roll with it if it goes down. At least there's a lot of awesome live theater to look forward to! By the way- I HATE LIVE THEATER. I like keeping a nice calm blue ocean around me at all times, ESPECIALLY ON VACATION. I don't appreciate the drama. So there will be problems maybe.


P.S.- funnier stuff next time, or at least some new baby pictures. Promise.

Tags: What? Family Drama

After I said I'd be updating lots more often I promptly did the exact opposite and didn't update at all. That's why you have to keep your head on a swivel folks, you never know what crazy stuff we'll do around here! WHOOOO! Nobody could predict opposite!

I could blame the wife's side of the family and their current drama for my internet failings, and to a certain extent that would actually be accurate. Not that I couldn't have posted about this sooner, but I was trying to figure out an angle that would be most fair to everyone involved. Just the facts! I really wanted to do this in the One Sentence of Drama format, but I don't think I can get in enough context for you to draw a solid conclusion. This will be like, three or possibly forty sentences. I'll be trying not to express my opinions about the current situation so much as just lay out the facts & let you have at it in comments. I have made my feelings clear to plenty of folks here in the real world.

On New Year's Eve of 2004, Becky's baby sister Liz married her first boyfriend, Josh (for whom Liz was also a first significant other), after meeting him her freshman year at Ohio State a few months before. This was met with much disapproval and resistance from both families (both huge- Liz has three sisters and a brother and Josh is one of twelve kids) who sensed a disaster in the making, but these two were in LOVE and would not be denied. Like most always, when Liz wants something, she will get it; in this case an expensive wedding at age 19.

For the record, everyone in our family really likes Josh. He is a great guy, extremely nice and considerate to a fault. Young, naive, but super nice. Hard working, smart, responsible, good-looking in that "I'm a young guy in college!" sort of way. Exactly the type of guy you want marrying your daughter, so even though we all objected the marriage thing, that was just because it seemed waaaaay too soon, not because we thought Josh was a bad guy. Actually, we thought he might be a great influence on her. Sadly, I think what appealed to Liz about him is that he bends over backwards to cater to her moody, eating-disorder fueled whims without complaint or hesitation. Most of us had the feeling that she'd break Josh at some point, that he couldn't take that forever. He's proven fairly resilient to her less appealing personality issues though, and they are still together. Technically.

This past quarter (semester? I don't know) at Ohio State, Liz, a language student, took a scholarship opportunity to study with the French speaking Canadians in Quebec. This, beyond all the usual dramatics that ensue whenever Liz does anything, sent up some huge red flags as to the status of Liz & Josh's marriage. "She's moving to Canada for three months?" "Weren't they like, just married a little while ago?" "Isn't that a little odd?" These are more like questions than actual red flags, but you get my meaning. So there was that. Liz would e-mail Becky and ask how Josh was doing. "Wait- you're married to him- don't you know?!?" This was a redder flag than the last ones, almost INFRA-RED and invisible to the human eye!

Then there was this, and our tale gets sad here. One of Josh's brothers, Mike, was killed in a car crash last weekend. Personally, I didn't know the guy, I'd met him only once sorta at Liz & Josh's wedding, but he was one of 11 siblings that I met that night and that's 11 more people than I am capable of remembering after one meeting. Anyway, it is really sad and you would not believe how many people have stopped by during the calling hours for the viewing (which is inaccurately named since it is closed-casket). Josh's family, as I mentioned, is HUGE and really involved in the church/school community and know a lot of people. It has been a massive parade of folks offering condolences and shoulders to cry on, the funeral home had to use an empty lot next door to make room for all the cars. I bet it is safe to say there have been thousands of people dropping by, many close friends and family but also many relative strangers who just felt they should offer up some support.

Days ago, understandably distraught after learning of the fatal accident that took his 24 year-old brother, Josh called Liz in Canada and asked her to come home a few days early to help him through this. She said no.

Becky and the rest of her family did their best to convince her to get here, but no dice. After Becky eventually e-mailed the ultimatum of "if you don't respond to me the next time you'll see me is in fourteen hours at your dorm room door to bring you home," Liz replied with something to the effect of, "Don't tell me how to live my life. You should know that Josh and I were having problems, and after I get back from Canada I'm probably not going to be living with him. Mike wouldn't care if I'm there or not. If you come here you won't find me- I'll be hiding."

Liz is done with her program in Quebec today, the day of Mike's funeral. She is staying in Canada until Sunday and is not returning phone calls.

Tags: What? Family Drama