And oohh yeah... I'm an F.B.I. agent!
01/14/06 07:06 PM
A couple months ago I'm driving downtown to my
in-laws to drop off the kids before I put in some
face time at work. It was probably around 10:30 in
the morning or so. I decided to drive up to an ATM so
I could buy cheeseburgers later, and there was one
sort of on my way to the freeway. There was a short
line of cars, so we waited.
This lady walking by in the parking lot starts staring at my car. Like most everybody in that area of town she was black, but unlike most of the residents of Euclid on "that side of I-90" she was dressed very nicely in a professional looking suit, made up, looked like she took care of herself. Probably about 40, maybe 45. She looks my car over real slow, like something bad might happen if she takes her eyes off. She wandered closer, and after it was obvious she wasn't going away, I rolled down the window, which startled her, and asked if there was something I could help her with.
"That's a real sharp car," talking about the silver Element my kids made me buy. "Real sharp. What year is it?"
"Thanks- it's a 2004."
"Uhh-huh." She said "Uhh-huh" with a weird nod of her head and a knowing grin, like she didn't believe me. Why I would lie about the year my car was made, I'm not sure. Anyway, obviously not satisfied with my answer, she glanced around nervously like she was looking for an exit, which was also weird because she was, y'know, outside.
"How long have you been at this office? Did they just transfer you in?"
Now I was confused. "Umm... what?"
The well dressed lady stepped a little closer, looked me dead in the eye and said, "You know Scott Carpenter?"
"Uh- I don't know any..."
"Scott Carpenter- at the F.B.I.? You working with him now?"
It took me this long to realize I was talking to a crazy person. Maybe it was the midday hour that threw me off, or perhaps the professional dress. I mean, usually these folks are a lot easier to pick out, what with the teeth gnashing and withering B.O. and whatnot. "Lady, I don't have any idea what you're talking about."
"Uh-huh," nervous glance to the back of my car where the babies are, "riiight."
Then she took off running like I was about to jump out of the car and take her down or something. Which I totally wasn't.
Let's all remember to take our meds, people.
This has been a public service announcement.
This lady walking by in the parking lot starts staring at my car. Like most everybody in that area of town she was black, but unlike most of the residents of Euclid on "that side of I-90" she was dressed very nicely in a professional looking suit, made up, looked like she took care of herself. Probably about 40, maybe 45. She looks my car over real slow, like something bad might happen if she takes her eyes off. She wandered closer, and after it was obvious she wasn't going away, I rolled down the window, which startled her, and asked if there was something I could help her with.
"That's a real sharp car," talking about the silver Element my kids made me buy. "Real sharp. What year is it?"
"Thanks- it's a 2004."
"Uhh-huh." She said "Uhh-huh" with a weird nod of her head and a knowing grin, like she didn't believe me. Why I would lie about the year my car was made, I'm not sure. Anyway, obviously not satisfied with my answer, she glanced around nervously like she was looking for an exit, which was also weird because she was, y'know, outside.
"How long have you been at this office? Did they just transfer you in?"
Now I was confused. "Umm... what?"
The well dressed lady stepped a little closer, looked me dead in the eye and said, "You know Scott Carpenter?"
"Uh- I don't know any..."
"Scott Carpenter- at the F.B.I.? You working with him now?"
It took me this long to realize I was talking to a crazy person. Maybe it was the midday hour that threw me off, or perhaps the professional dress. I mean, usually these folks are a lot easier to pick out, what with the teeth gnashing and withering B.O. and whatnot. "Lady, I don't have any idea what you're talking about."
"Uh-huh," nervous glance to the back of my car where the babies are, "riiight."
Then she took off running like I was about to jump out of the car and take her down or something. Which I totally wasn't.
Let's all remember to take our meds, people.
This has been a public service announcement.
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