Lunch.
10/12/06 01:55 PM
Honestly, I set out to
get a salad.
I had it in mind all morning that I wanted a salad. This doesn't happen a lot, usually only when I'm constipated, or when my guts feel all backed up, or those times when I can't poop right. I went out with salad on my mind. "Gonna get a salad!" I said as I left the building, to anyone who would listen. They said, "Must be a little backed up today, eh?" and I said "Hoo-boy, you got that right!"
I drove to Wendy's because I like their salads, and the drive-thru line stretched out into the street. I didn't feel like hanging out in the intersection with my blinker on until somebody decided if they wanted a small, medium or large size combo; so I changed directions and went towards McDonald's because their salads are okay too. Huge line at the drive-thru! I didn't want to wait in that one either! And it's cold outside today, so no way I'm getting out of my car. No SIR.
Now I'm MAD. Mad at salad. I say, "Fuck salad!" and drive across the street to the Burger King where there is almost never a long drive-thru line and I don't like the salads so much. "Fuck salad!" I said again to anyone who would listen, which was no one because I was by myself in my car. I now wanted the opposite of salad, because fuck salad. I saw this poster for the BK ANGUS SHROOMS AND SWISS that looked mammoth and disgusting, and I was all set to order that when I got to the speakerbox. But then I saw it has lettuce and mayonnaise on it. You know what that is? SALAD.
I tell the girl yakkin' at me through the speaker, "What do you have that is the opposite of salad? I want a combo of that."
"Uhh... what? Ah- we have a BK STACKER, it says right here on the poster it is the opposite of salad."
My BK STACKER was two BK beef (not to be confused with real beef) patties, bacon, cheese, cheese sauce and pickles.
I'll get that salad in for dinner, unless I'm still mad at salad, in which case fuck salad.
I had it in mind all morning that I wanted a salad. This doesn't happen a lot, usually only when I'm constipated, or when my guts feel all backed up, or those times when I can't poop right. I went out with salad on my mind. "Gonna get a salad!" I said as I left the building, to anyone who would listen. They said, "Must be a little backed up today, eh?" and I said "Hoo-boy, you got that right!"
I drove to Wendy's because I like their salads, and the drive-thru line stretched out into the street. I didn't feel like hanging out in the intersection with my blinker on until somebody decided if they wanted a small, medium or large size combo; so I changed directions and went towards McDonald's because their salads are okay too. Huge line at the drive-thru! I didn't want to wait in that one either! And it's cold outside today, so no way I'm getting out of my car. No SIR.
Now I'm MAD. Mad at salad. I say, "Fuck salad!" and drive across the street to the Burger King where there is almost never a long drive-thru line and I don't like the salads so much. "Fuck salad!" I said again to anyone who would listen, which was no one because I was by myself in my car. I now wanted the opposite of salad, because fuck salad. I saw this poster for the BK ANGUS SHROOMS AND SWISS that looked mammoth and disgusting, and I was all set to order that when I got to the speakerbox. But then I saw it has lettuce and mayonnaise on it. You know what that is? SALAD.
I tell the girl yakkin' at me through the speaker, "What do you have that is the opposite of salad? I want a combo of that."
"Uhh... what? Ah- we have a BK STACKER, it says right here on the poster it is the opposite of salad."
My BK STACKER was two BK beef (not to be confused with real beef) patties, bacon, cheese, cheese sauce and pickles.
I'll get that salad in for dinner, unless I'm still mad at salad, in which case fuck salad.
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