I have never owned a mobile phone, or even desired one in any way. I detest them. Yet all day so far I've been going over my finances to see if I can justify the $60 a month it'll take to use the new iPhone I want SO BAD.

The hype is too compelling. CAN'T RESIST. I almost want to go to the Apple store and stand in line with all the sweaty nerds right now. I said "almost". Ick.

A side note: some people are hung up on the price of the phone, but it is a non-issue for me. For tax purposes on the freelance work I need to spend a certain amount of money on equipment every year to write off or I take a major hit on April 15th. I'm nowhere near that magic break-even point, so I've gotta buy something. Yay Capitalism At Work!

Tags: Geekery Gadgets

I mentioned in a previous entry that I had to do a new Scrooge! image for another run of that show for the second year in a row. They wanted something like the last one, but different. If you'll recall, it was our good friend Helen who was able to furnish me with a background image to which I added Xmas Magicks for the final. Well, Helen has outdone herself once more, and here's how it works. In this entry you'll take a journey into the murky fog that is The Process. Hold on tight to someone you love, it'll be a bumpy ride. NO GROPING. There are cameras everywhere.

First we begin with Scrooge himself. Check out my awesome lighting gear! This shot is being taken on the set of another production, that's why all the ramps & stairs in the back. The client is very anti-face this year, so Scrooge is walking away from us. Into what? We don't know yet! Well, you don't know. I know damn well what he's walking into. I don't know why I said "we". Sorry.



Helen supplied me with several angles, but I ended up using these two shots.


All the people MUST GO! All the shadows MUST GO! Lots to do...


The first comp of the big elements. The buildings had to be squashed and mashed and pulled and sliced until they fit into the layout. Helen supplied very hi-res images for me, which is handy because you'll note that I'm only using small portions of them (especially the right side of the street). If they were smaller resolution they'd look all poopy when blown up, but these are nice. I touched out all the people & umbrellas & crap for the tourists. The lame cobblestone floor is a closeup of my neighbors asphalt driveway distorted to mimic the perspective.

That's all the tough stuff. Now, just hit the "Xmas Magicks" button in Photoshop...


POW! That was easy!

So now I've given you all you need to know to be a Computer Graphics Professional making many tens of dollars. It is worth noting that the above image isn't final, I'll probably be adding some more Xmassy crap. But I need to get some feedback from the client, so this is a good spot for stopping.

With that, GOOD NIGHT.

Tags: I Am Professional Pals

On Thursday the home team celebrated 10 years of Holy Matrimony. Hey- the world didn't end! I guess I was wrong that one time. Ten years, man! TEN YEARS! That's a lot of years. All pretty good too. I think B's sister Jessie summed it up best when she said, "You two may be the only people on the planet who actually should be married." Clearly she has not been witness to many successful relationships.

I was in a bind as to what to get her for this momentous occasion. There are a few problems/situations I had to overcome. First, her birthday falls exactly a week before our anniversary (I know- I should have worked that out better). For that I had already promised her a new stereo for her Hyundai Santa Fe, which is not my cup o' tea as far as cars go, but she likes it well enough. It has a pathetic radio, and beyond its already laughable output, one of its crossovers shorted out so there's no bass on the left side of the car. Sounds like shit. So, I said I'd get a new system put in it, which will no doubt set me back a bit. Therefore, didn't want to spend a lot on the anniversary thing. But I didn't want to be a cheapskate either, ten years doesn't come along that often. Jewelry? RIGHT OUT. I'll tell you why. Becky's never been into the bling, which I'm eternally thankful for (we wouldn't be married if she were a jewelry girl- not my type), but she has a few things that I've gotten her. Of course, there's the engagement ring from all those ages ago. And there's the diamond earrings from Xmas a few years back. She wears that stuff all the time. Oops- until recently. Couple months ago the diamond popped out of the ring setting while pushing the kids around at the zoo, never to be seen again. Then, last weekend B was outside pulling weeds or someshit and Casey crashed into her head, knocking an earring out. Can't find that one either. So, you can see why I am feeling a bit gun-shy about another trip to the jewelry store.

I ended up just going to Target & getting some stuff for the yard (which we're really into making nice at the moment) and another frigging iPod. We have like four or five of those things now. None of the real cool video ones though, these are all older music-only types (but I digress). This one's neat, it's just one of the little clip on dudes without the screen or anything. She's been doing some exercising lately and always complains because she left her iPod at work or the battery is dead or whatever. This one is tiny and clips on your shirt, so it's really handy for working out. And it is pink, so automatically loved by females the world over. Also, and this is where the cleverness begins, it is made out of aluminum, and everybody knows what the symbol for ten years of marriage is, right? Yes, aluminum. Like how fifty years is gold and two years is, I dunno, sand or bisquick or something? Well ten is aluminum. Well, tin, actually; but the powers that be say that in modern times aluminum is an acceptable substitute since tin is not so plentiful. I researched it on the Internet!

To add to the cleverness I bought some aluminum foil to use as wrapping paper. I can not be more clever! I wrapped all the presents up, and admittedly they looked like something that belonged buried in a freezer somewhere. But ten years... aluminum foil wrapping... THAT IS WICKED CLEVER.

B makes it downstairs in the morning and eventually sees the shiny, crinkly, razor sharp mess of crap I left on the table with the card on top and says, "Ooh! Presents! HEY- did you use all my foil for this?!?"

Okay, so maybe it would have seemed more clever if I did not have to explain why it was clever, as Becky did not know the significance of aluminum = ten years of marriage. Without that pretext in mind it may have seemed that I was just wastefully using aluminum foil to wrap boxes (badly), when we have hundreds of square feet of perfectly good and actual wrapping paper stored in the attic you boob (the boob being me). I said, "NO! I BOUGHT THIS FOIL SPECIAL! Because, um, it's like ten years? With the aluminum, which is sort of like tin? You know- like it said on the internet? Over there on the computer? I'M CLEVER!"

Then I got the rolleyes that only ten years of marriage can perfect.

UNRELATED- Becky got my favorite precooked meatballs at the grocery store. They are AWESOME- add some spaghetti sauce and a big bun & you got yourself an instant meatball sub, which is pretty much my favorite thing. THE BEST PART- when you open up the meatball package, it smells like fart. Totally. You peel back the plastic and think, "Aww yeah- fart." This saves so me much time. No waiting around several minutes for gastrointestinal processes. This gets it out of the way before I even have to think about it. Interestingly, when the actual meatball farts come- they smell like flowers.

That about wraps up this entry. I'll leave you as I often do, with some dangerously photographed license plates attached to cars moving at high speeds on the freeways of Cleveland. Everyone is fortunate that I am so good at steering with my knees.

Tags: What? License Plates The Home Front Good Times Lunch