Long story short (to be elaborated upon later), I had to re-do some things here and now the comments are 4 entries off starting somewhere in June. I don't think I can fix it without nuking things, and I don't want to be added to the Axis of Evil just yet. This is a test to see if, starting here, the comments will be back on the correct entries. Sucks, I know- but I apologize for nothing as it is not really inconvenient to anyone except me.

Tags: Internet Testing IGNORE ME!

Hi all! I've been disappeared for a while. Just really overwhelmed with things now. I could have come on here and whined some & we all could have had a good cry about it, but I hate that more than hemorrhoids, so I won't do it.

Instead I thought I'd bring something for show-n-tell today, a somewhat appropriate little thing I just found while looking for something else. Back in the golden olden times some of you may remember I ran a dumb thing called M.O.M. over at the WD, which was really just a desperate (and largely successful) ploy to get lots of girls to giggle and write me love notes. Anyway, those of you in the know will recall that I had a newsletter that had a total of nine issues before I got distracted by something shiny and stopped doing it. Those were fun, weren't they? I always wanted to write another one.

Well, as it happens, I did. Actually I never finished it, but I did get a nice start on M.O.M. News #10. Nobody has ever seen it, and I had completely forgotten about it. Tonight I was doing a Spotlight search for some artwork I did years ago to recycle into a new project and I ran across this opening article, which was set forth as a completely lame excuse as to why I hadn't gotten around to writing a new newsletter in so long. Here it is.

it's M.O.M. NEWS!       number 48       11/22/2003

Where have you guys been? I've been worried sick!

Ha-ha-ha! Kidding! I joke with you. It's not really issue #48, it's only issue #10. I just wanted to make it seem like I'm not so lazy and neglectful by distracting you with an amiable deflection- a red herring, if you will. For a moment there I had you thinking that maybe- just maybe, you had somehow missed 39 issues of M.O.M. News. Since it has been so long since the last one, that story certainly seems plausible... mayhem couldn't possibly be so lackadaisical as to go this many months with no M.O.M. update, could he? It must somehow be your fault! Perhaps you'd forgotten to check your PMs in a timely fashion and all those newsletters had just disappeared. Naturally, that doesn't seem likely, since the only reason you ever log in is for the flashy envelope. No way you missed 39 PMs! It must be something else. Wait! Did you say something to upset him? Is he just not sending you newsletters because he is mad at you? What was it that you did? You don't know!

I assure you- I am that lackadaisical. Not your fault at all! All mine. MINE! See what I did there? I shifted blame. My one true skill!

It's just like this one time, back at the pool hall, when Chester (the peg-leg bartender) came in one day demanding to know who had been screwin' his girlfriend behind his back. We asked him how he knew she'd been steppin' out on him, and he answered, "Doc says Lola's got crabs. I ain't got crabs, so it must be one of youze! Whoever it is- yer DEAD!"

I quickly spoke up and said, "Hey man- not me! Everyone knows I only have the Clap! It must be Frankie- he's always diggin' at his pecker!"

Chester then broke a barstool over Frankie's head and put him in a coma for three weeks. That was really unfortunate for Frankie as he missed three weeks worth of Carnival wages and then was evicted from the dockside hotel room he'd been sharing with Freddy Two-Toes and Slow Johnny for missing the rent. He was killed a few weeks later by a hobo who caught him stealing a ham sandwich in an abandoned boxcar down by the old paint factory. Don't mess with hobos- they're mean!

Frankie hadn't been humping Lola, of course. Frankie didn't even have crabs. He just liked to grab himself in the presence of others. I smartly neglected to mention to Chester that I not only had the Clap, but a ripping case of crabs too. I had picked them up from one of my regular "conjugal visits" to the women's prison outside of town where I had lots of pen-pals. But Chester's Lola- she was hotsie-totsie! Those gams went all the way up, if you know what I'm sayin'. Plus, Lola wouldn't have given Frankie the time of day- she was pure class, what with all the teeth she had. A lot more teeth than those prison gals, I can tell you. And hair in the proper places. Woo!

FYI- I had Doc burn all my cooties when I turned seventeen, so rest assured- there's nothing moving around in these pants!


Anyhow, on with the show.

Tags: Pals Internet The WD What?