Chainsaw's doing lists, so I will too. I emulate!
10. Soundgarden's Badmotorfinger. This was the height of their crazy wailing Seattle power and is so awesome that things explode in my brain and sparks shoot out of a bunch of holes sometimes when that album's spinning. People driving next to me when that happens are freaked the fuck out- but they clearly have never rocked out to Jesus Christ Pose.
9. The homeless guy who asked me for seventeen cents two weeks ago. Unlike most bums who just come up and hassle me while I'm trying to get my kids strapped into their carseats outside my in-law's place in the Cleve for whatever change I've got handy, ostensibly to catch the bus or get a sandwich, this dude strolls up and tells THE TRUTH. He goes (all with a great big grin), "Hey man- I see you're tryin' to get your kids in the fuckin' car or whatnot, but can you give me 17 mutherfuckin' cents? I'm fuckin' homeless and I want to go buy a fuckin' beer over there in that fuckin' bar. It fuckin' sucks to be homeless, but I like to drink and that's okay man. Seventeen cents and I''ll stop fuckin' buggin you and go drink. Hey- that's a cute fuckin' kid- what's he gonna be? Football player?"
I totally gave him 17 cents exactly, and he stopped bugging me.
8. The current season of LOST. Whatsit? Four now? It's tits. I really, really wish I had another word to accurately describe how good this season has been. But no- tits is it. Sorry.
7. In the Pixar movie Cars, which Ty is obsessed with and we've now watched dozens of times, there's the hero moment toward the end there. You know- where Lightening McQueen slams on his brakes right before the finish line, giving up his lifelong dream of winning the Piston Cup, and all the glory that comes with that, to go back and push the crashed out and battered legendary racing car, The King, across the line so he can finish his last race; thus completing Lightning's total transformation from self centered jerk to super awesome guy worthy of the respect of his new found friends in the tiny forgotten town of Radiator Springs. In my fragile moments, those times when I haven't slept for a couple days and nothing is going right, I get a little choked up there. A little misty. Sometimes may need a tissue or two.
If any of you ever tells anyone about this I'll cut off your head and fedex it in a plain box to Brad Pitt.
6. Meatballs.
5. We just got this new toaster oven at Costco that doubles as a convection oven. I guarantee you don't know dick about toast until you've used this thing.
4. I rarely check the net stats on my websites because I'm just not that horny about web stats, dig? Anyway, I was bored a few weeks ago and checked out some of the search strings coming in. Turns out the vast majority of my traffic comes from Kristen Bell image searches. I will take credit for this, because Kristen Bell totally wants me. Just look at this last slatternly photo she sent me and tell me I'm lying...
ONLY NUMBER 4? WTF???
3. Is it
just me, or has McDonald's gotten a lot shittier
tasting lately? Look, I know I'm in the minority when
I proclaim my affection for Mickey D cheeseburgers,
but they have been a staple of my existence since I
was eye to eye with the crawdads in the crick out
back. But over the last year or two I've notice a
definite decline in their already marginal quality.
And I'm not talking about just one bad McD's that I
always go to, I mean in McD's all over. I've been
places man, seen things- and they have been real suck
ass everywhere. I'm going to keep trying to find a
good one though- I'll keep you updated. You can't
wait and neither can I!!! NUM NUMMY in my TUMMY!
2. Cloverfield. The crawly
things that fall off the monster made me yelp and pee
a little.
1. I have no number one. Maybe I
should have started this at number 9. Heck, some of
these are sort of bad, so maybe I could've gone just
six or seven deep. Better planning may be in order
for future lists. Ah well.